Are you a “NICE” or “KIND” leader?
Reflecting on your approach to leadership and whether you’re trying to be “nice” or “kind can help you become a more effective leader
Nice vs. Kind. I think we get this concept frequently wrong in leadership. There seems to be a growing attention to the softer side of leadership (compassion, empathy, self-awareness) and I am definitely on that bandwagon! But, oftentimes those crucial aspects of leadership get slightly twisted and we end up pursuing “niceness” instead of its more mature sibling “kindness.” Here are some examples of what I’m talking about:
Nice: Seeking consensus at all costs, trying to make everyone happy.
Kind: Seeking input from others then making a decision that best meets the objective despite it not working for everyone.
Nice: Avoiding hurting an employee’s feelings and thereby withholding critical feedback
Kind: Delivering disconfirming or sometimes critical feedback with compassion and empathy
Nice: Allowing others at times to take advantage of you or inconvenience you because you want to be nice and accommodating.
Kind: Being clear on what you can and can’t take on and establishing boundaries
Nice: Oftentimes ambiguous or equivocating so as not to offend or trouble someone
Kind: Clear, unambiguous, direct
Nice: Concerned with how you are perceived by others
Kind: Concerned with others well-being
Kindness creates clarity, removes ambiguity and creates a framework wherein employees and other relationships know how to operate. It drives for alignment and seeks the well-being of those around you over yourself. Knowing the difference and getting over the discomfort of moving from niceness to kindness is a crucial step in leadership development. And, I’m not saying you shouldn’t be “nice”, but rather, “kindness” is often the required skill from leaders.
We help leaders become effective people leaders grounded in human connection. We’d love to help you - reach out to explore how.