Naikan Reflection

Here’s the Scenario:

The other day I was in Costco and was on a mission - you know the drill, get in and get out as quickly as possible.  Well, I admit that I get a bit frustrated when someone stops in the middle of the aisle to consult their phone. It holds up traffic, causes congestion in the aisles and admittedly I’ve grumbled a bit about people who are not so aware of their surroundings (to put it mildly).  And then I did it.  The exact same thing I complained about!!!  I keep my shopping list on my phone and I stopped in the middle of the aisle to consult my phone - people had to go around me!!  Yeah, but I had a reason… right?!?  But that’s the key - are you aware of your impact on others, on your work team, on your subordinates, your boss?  And do you afford others the same reasoning for their behavior as you do for yours?  

Enter the concept of Naikan - A Japanese word that means “looking inside.”   3 questions, simple but very powerful:

Naikan Reflection Questions

Having spent time working with companies, the majority of people are simply not very self-aware. Even fewer have some measure of self-awareness. But rarely do I see individuals who are aware of their impact on others. Asking ourselves these questions start us down the path of gaining insight into how we show up in the world and how we impact others.

Imagine what would happen if employees reflected in this way. Accountability would increase. Conscientiousness would increase. Teams would run more smoothly. Imagine what would happen if bosses reflected on these questions. Certainly more empathy would show up in the workplace.

Some measure of introspection and self awareness about your impact on others can go a long way to healing fractured relationships at work or home.