Tumbling Rocks - 4 Key Actions When Things Don't Go Well at Work

Smoothing out the rough edges - Tumbling Rocks

1. Consciously Process

When faced with a challenging situation at work, our first instinct might be to suppress our emotions or, conversely, let them overwhelm us. However, the first step towards resilience is to consciously process these emotions. Acknowledge what you're feeling—be it frustration, disappointment, or sadness. Allow yourself to experience these emotions without judgment. Figure out how you need to process the tough emotions. In our exemplar’s case, she physically wrote down all of the frustration she was experiencing. This process is akin to airing out a room that's been closed for too long; it's necessary for clarity and healing. Remember, it's not the emotion that defines you, but how you manage it. This first step must be completed or else you won’t have the emotional capacity to do the following steps.

2. Reflect Objectively

Once you've allowed yourself to feel, the next step is to reflect on the situation from multiple perspectives. Often, our first reaction is to view the event through a personal lens, which might be clouded by emotions, biases, or incomplete information. Strive to examine the issue as if you're an outsider looking in. This might involve considering the perspectives of others involved, looking at the situation in the context of your organization's goals, or even considering the timing and external factors. Objectivity helps in understanding the full scope of the situation and aids in depersonalizing the event, making it easier to learn from it. Curiosity is key!

Our client, with a much clearer head, took a chance to reflect on the situation and began to see more clearly what was happening. This allowed her to not take things so personally, and set up her for the next step.

3. Examine Yourself

Next, turn your attention inward. A critical, yet often overlooked, step in navigating workplace challenges is self-examination. Ask yourself how your actions, behaviors, or decisions may have contributed to the situation. This isn't about assigning blame but about taking ownership and responsibility for your part. It's an opportunity for growth and self-improvement. By understanding your role, you can identify areas for personal development that will not only help in rectifying the current situation but also in preventing similar issues in the future.

As our client turned inward, she recognized that indeed she was contributing to the problem and that she could see how her actions were being perceived. This also gave her a chance to reflect on how she wanted to show up at work and how her values were possible conflicting with workplace expectations. This is the hard work of “tumbling the rocks”. Indeed, it is work and which is why our therapists refer to “doing the work.”

4. Create an Action Plan

The final key to weathering professional setbacks is to develop a concrete action plan. Based on your emotional processing, objective reflection, and self-examination, decide what steps you can take to positively influence the situation moving forward. This might involve improving a skill, changing a behavior, or even initiating a conversation to resolve misunderstandings. Setting actionable goals not only provides a sense of direction but also empowers you to take control of the situation. Remember, the goal is not just to overcome the current challenge, but also to emerge stronger and more resilient.

For our client this meant acknowledging the realities of the situation and deciding how she could affect what was in her control, how she could accept those things out of control, and perhaps most importantly, how she could still find purpose and meaning in other areas of her life that allowed her to still show up in a situation that may not have been ideal.

While we cannot control every aspect of our professional lives, we can control how we respond to challenges. By consciously processing our emotions, reflecting objectively, examining our actions, and creating a forward-looking action plan, we can navigate with resilience and grace those times when something at work doesn’t quite “work”. Embrace these moments not as setbacks, but as opportunities for growth and learning. After all, it's the challenges that shape us, smoothing our edges and revealing the strength within.