5 Keys for Empathetic Communication
Communicating with empathy impacts your relationships in the workplace.
The case for empathetic leadership is well documented (see article here) suggesting that firms with empathetic leadership have stronger employee engagement, greater innovation, overall market value. A Forbe’s article suggests that empathy is the most important leadership skill. But, unfortunately, empathy is not something that comes naturally to many leaders. On the other hand, there are some professions where empathy and empathetic communication is the de facto standard. Therapy and counseling is one such profession.
As a therapist my wife was trained to listen. I mean really listen. And communicate with empathy. It’s how she gets people to talk, to get to the bottom of issues, and help them resolve serious challenges. As it turns out, the principles she learned as a therapist are directly applicable to the workplace, especially as leaders. Here are 5 keys to help practice empathetic communication.
1)Unconditional Positive Regard - Seeing the other person (your teammates) through an unconditionally positive lens no matter what they say or what matter they are bringing up. It’s having respect for other people no matter what.
2)Active listening - Give your full attention to the person across the table from you, making eye contact, nodding, and using other non-verbal cues (body language) to show you're engaged. Active listening also involves not interrupting while the other person is speaking and reflecting back what you've heard to show you understand. This is tough to do, especially in today’s distracting world, but it pays dividends in establishing relationships of trust.
3)Use reflective statements - Reflect back what the other person has said to show you are trying to understand their perspective. For example, "I’m hearing you say this, did I get that correct?" can convey that you are listening and empathizing.
4)Validate Feelings - Acknowledge the other person's feelings without judgment. Even if you don't agree with their perspective, you can validate their emotions by saying things like, "It can see how you may feel that way given the situation.”
5)Ask open ended questions - Encourage a deeper conversation by asking questions that require more than a yes or no answer. Questions like, "How did that make you feel?" or "What was going through your mind when that happened?" can help the other person express their feelings and thoughts more fully.
Here’s a bonus - asking a simple, “is there anything else you’d like to bring up? Do I understand everything?” will help ensure the other person feels completely heard.
By using these 5 (+1) tools, you’ll be on your way to exercising greater empathetic listening and leadership. Observe how the quality of your communication (and relationships) increase, both in and out of the office.